Individual Therapy for the Betrayed Partner

I work with people of any gender and across any relationship structure where a trusted partner’s betrayal has caused trauma symptoms that are now interfering with your life.

• This includes married clients, as well as long-term partners and cohabiting couples.

• It includes people who have already left or whose partner left, but the trauma response is impacting a new relationship.

• It includes monogamous clients and clients in non-monogamous relationships where an agreement was violated.

What makes the intensive a good fit is how the discovery is affecting you now. Most of my clients say they are preoccupied with the discovery of the infidelity, and the choices their partner has made has left them feeling unworthy and inadequate.

Infidelity takes a lot of forms, and I work with all of them, including a single affair, an emotional affair, repeated affairs, paying for sex with sex workers or escorts, secret accounts on dating or hookup apps, and hidden pornography use that broke an agreement between you and your partner.

The intensive is a fit whether you found out last month or several years ago, and whether you’re staying in the relationship, separating, or if the relationship has already ended.

The intensive is a flat-fee of $1,950. Typically, clients complete the intensive session in about 4 hours.

After you reserve a spot on my secure calendar, you’ll receive your intake forms by email, typically within an hour.

Please review and digitally sign them within 48 hours. Once your forms are signed, your 50% deposit ($975) is charged and your spot is confirmed. The remaining 50% ($975) is charged 24 hours before your session.

If your forms aren’t completed within 48 hours of booking, you won’t be charged. However, your appointment will be cancelled and that date will be available to other clients. You’re always welcome to book a new date once you’re ready to complete the forms.

Yes. The unfaithful partner often has their own work to do: sometimes around guilt, shame, and accountability, sometimes around their own history of trauma that contributed to what happened. That work involves ART, but is more talk therapy heavy. For more information on that service, please click here.

No. You don’t have to share any of the specifics. ART works with the images and sensations stored in your nervous system, not the verbal story. You can keep the details private and still process the trauma completely. Many clients find this privacy one of the most relieving aspects of ART.

It will probably change the anger, not completely erase it.

The trauma-driven anger (the kind that spikes your heart rate when you see their phone, the rage that wakes you up, the flooding that makes you say things you regret)… that anger often softens, because it’s tied to the betrayal trauma symptoms that ART helps resolve.

You might still be angry, but it’s usually not the same white-hot, dysregulated anger. It sounds more like, “What you did was wrong, and I’m deciding what I want to do about it.”

If your partner is still lying, minimizing, or refusing to repair the damage, then some of the anger will stay, because the betrayal behaviors are still happening and the anger is a normal response to them.

That’s completely normal. ART helps your nervous system calm down so that you can think clearly about those types of decisions. Right now, trauma is making every decision feel urgent and next to impossible.

After ART, you’ll still have the same choices to make, but you’ll be making them from a regulated place instead of from anxiety or anger.

Great question. Both ART and EMDR use eye movements to help your brain reprocess traumatic memories, but there are some key differences in how they work and how quickly you’ll see results.

ART is more directive and structured. We focus on specific images that are triggering you and actively replace them with ones that feel neutral or empowering. There’s no homework between sessions, and each session is complete in itself; you won’t leave feeling worse or need to “process” between appointments.

EMDR is more exploratory. Your therapist follows where your associations lead, which can be valuable but also means sessions are less predictable. Some people find they feel worse temporarily as they process, and treatment typically takes longer (6-12+ sessions vs 1-5 for ART).

For betrayal trauma specifically, most of my clients appreciate that ART:

• Gets results faster (you’re not waiting for months to feel better)

• Doesn’t require you to talk through every detail of what happened

• Leaves you feeling complete after each session, not raw or triggered

• Actively replaces disturbing images rather than just desensitizing you to them

If you’ve tried EMDR and it helped but didn’t fully resolve things, or if it felt too slow or destabilizing, ART often works very well as an alternative.

In my practice, clients with betrayal trauma usually need between one and three ART sessions, and the intensive puts two full ART sessions into a single extended appointment.

For many clients, the intensive is the only appointment they need to heal the trauma of the infidelity. This is because each ART session is complete on its own and the progress from the intensive doesn’t depend on weekly follow-up appointments. That means you plan around one block of time instead of fitting appointments around your work and family schedule for months. If you’d like another session after your intensive, additional ART sessions are available.

If you’ve also experienced trauma earlier in life, such as abuse or neglect in childhood, you might need a follow-up ART session after the intensive. We’ll talk about that during the assessment at the start of your intensive, so you’ll know what to expect before your ART sessions begin.

I see clients located anywhere in Massachusetts, Washington State, and Oregon.

I am also registered to see clients in Florida and Colorado.

If you are located outside of the United States, there is a chance I can work with you. Please contact me to discuss your situation.