About Allyson Clemmons, LCSW, LICSW
Hope and healing after infidelity happen in the nervous system, not just in conversation…
Specializing Exclusively in Partner Betrayal Trauma After Infidelity
Over the last 16 years in my work as a therapist, I’ve worked with trauma, couples recovering from infidelity, and women going through divorce. I noticed some things that caught my attention:
In trauma therapy: Clients became experts at managing their PTSD symptoms. The skills worked, but needing those skills daily meant trauma was still running their life from behind the scenes. I watched people resign themselves to managing their trauma indefinitely, accepting that this was just how life would be now. But management is not the same as freedom. I kept thinking there had to be a way to actually resolve partner betrayal trauma instead of building an elaborate system to live around it.
In couples therapy after an affair: Both partners were committed to rebuilding. They’d show up, do the work, and make the necessary behavioral changes. But the betrayed partner’s trauma response (the suspicion, the mental movies, the nightmares, etc.) often kept the couple from making as much progress as they wanted. Despite the betrayed partner desperately wanting to heal the relationship, their nervous system was frozen in threat mode.
In my work with women going through divorce: Women who had been betrayed couldn’t always fully and actively participate in their own divorce proceedings. They would freeze up during mediation, or struggle to make decisions because anxiety was overwhelming their ability to think straight. And later, when they were ready to date again, the suspicion and mistrust followed them into new relationships.
What I was witnessing was partner betrayal trauma.
What I was seeing across all these contexts was the same thing: partner betrayal creates a specific trauma response, sometimes also called post-infidelity stress disorder. This is your nervous system doing exactly what it’s designed to do when it detects danger. The problem is, it keeps detecting danger long after the crisis has passed.
Your brain filed the betrayal as an active, present-tense threat. That’s why you're checking their phone when they’re in the shower, why your chest tightens when they’re 15 minutes late, and why you can’t stop replaying the past. Your nervous system genuinely believes the emergency is still happening because that’s how the memory is stored.
Traditional talk therapy tries to help you think differently about the betrayal. But you can’t think your way out of a nervous system problem. That’s why people spend months or years in therapy understanding their trauma deeply but still getting triggered regularly.
Partner betrayal trauma doesn’t require years of therapy. It requires the right therapy.
Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) is an effective, efficient, and complete way to heal from partner betrayal trauma.
How does this work?
Pull up a chair…
Context for Why ART Is So Helpful After Infidelity and Betrayal Trauma
On an ordinary day, a part of your brain called the hippocampus files the day’s experiences away with a time and place, which is why last week’s dinner with a friend feels like it happened in the past.
But during a highly stressful event like finding out your partner was unfaithful, your body released stress hormones, including cortisol, that affect how your brain records a memory. Your brain never fully recorded the betrayal as something that’s over, and that’s why the betrayal can feel like it’s happening now or about to happen again.
At the same time, the amygdala (the part of your brain that detects danger and tells you to run, fight back, or freeze) recorded the sights, sounds, and sensations of that moment in vivid detail. Afterward, anything remotely similar to that discovery moment, like a phone notification or a certain smell, can set off the same alarm bells, which is why you stay on high-alert long after the betrayal or infidelity happened.
When we work together, I use Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) on your original betrayal memory.
When you recall an emotional memory, your brain keeps the memory open to change for a while before storing it again. During an ART session, you recall the betrayal for about thirty seconds at a time while following back-and-forth eye movements, and you choose new images to replace the old, upsetting ones.
Because ART works by updating the original memory itself during the window when that memory is open to change, you’re able to feel differently about the betrayal within a single extended session instead of across months or years.
Your brain keeps the facts and knowledge of what happened, but because the old images have been replaced and the physical sensations have been “processed out”, the facts lose their emotional intensity.
During our work together, the experience of betrayal becomes part of your history where it belongs, rather than continuing as part of your day-to-day life.
This is why clients often experience profound shifts in just a half-day intensive: I work with the root of the betrayal trauma, not just the symptoms.
My Training & Education
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Practicing psychotherapy since 2010
Masters in Social Work (MSW) from Portland State University, 2015
Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker in Washington (#LW61398886) and Massachusetts (#126480)
Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Oregon (#L8072)
Telehealth registrations in Colorado (#CSW.09933527) and Florida (#TPSW2) — please see more information about FL telehealth here.
NPI #1235456435
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Specialized training in:
Accelerated Resolution Therapy (Basic and Advanced levels)
Treating affairs, infidelity, and betrayal trauma through the Gottman Institute
Treating anxiety and trauma/PTSD
Treating substance use disorders
15 years of clinical experience with a diverse client population
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International Society of Accelerated Resolution Therapy (IS-ART)
Find out if betrayal trauma therapy is right for you by watching the video here…
Get in touch
Self-Schedule or Contact Me Below
If you already know you would like to get scheduled, please do so using my secure, HIPAA-compliant calendar below. No need to contact me first unless you want to.
Here’s how payment and intake forms work —
The intensive is typically ~4 hours and a flat-fee of $1,950.
You’ll use my secure calendar below to choose a date and time for your intensive.
After you book, you’ll receive an email invitation to complete your new client forms, which include your payment details.
Once you sign your forms, your 50% ($975) booking deposit is charged and your intensive date is confirmed. The remaining 50% ($975) is charged 24 hours before your session.
If your forms aren’t completed within 48 hours of booking, you won’t be charged. However, I’ll cancel your appointment and open that date to other clients. You’re always welcome to book a new date once you’re ready to complete the forms.
Have a question about logistics before scheduling?
See my FAQ page, or use the contact form to ask me directly (scroll down to use the form). I respond within 1-2 business days, but usually much faster.
For questions, please contact me using the secure, HIPAA-compliant form below.
hope and healing after infidelity and affairs
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hope and healing after infidelity and affairs —